Take a deep breath. In for 3. Out for 3. Take another deep breath. In for 3. Out for 3. How did that feel? Did you need a second to think and breathe? I know I do. I need to do this way more than I do now. In a life that’s go, go, go, I think we forget sometimes that it is okay to stop for a second. I can probably count on one hand how many times I sit down in a day and do nothing. I’m always on overdrive. It I sit down, I work on my phone with one of my many streams of income. If I sit down, I’m writing. If I sit down, I immediately feel like I need to get up again. I know that so many of us feel this way. I’m honestly not sure why I’m wired this way and I sometimes question why God would have me feel like this. I’ll get mad at God. Wonder why he would want me to feel inadequate and unworthy all the time. I wonder why he would gift me with 6 children if I’m just going to be anxious and filled with sadness all the time.
I don’t know why I’m like this and if you feel this same way please know you aren’t alone. I get angry, sad, and anxious most days. I end up crying in the bathroom almost every day. I’ve had meltdowns in Walmart and at the grocery store because my mind is telling me how inadequate I am as a mother and wife. It’s hard. I’m just now starting to come to terms with how bad my mental illness actually is. I know I write about it a lot. Maybe this post isn’t for you. Maybe you don’t suffer from a mental illness. But most people I know have some sort of issue they are working through or a trauma they are healing from.
You aren’t alone, and it’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to say “you know what, I’m not okay.” And it’s okay if all you can do is practice your breathing.
The Monarch Mama 