Read that title again.
Now say it to yourself out loud.
Repeat it.
Do you believe that? Do you believe that being your most productive doesn’t mean you’re the best mother? I’ve believed that for a long time. Some days I still believe it.
It’s 11:15 PM at night. I haven’t left my house today. I had no appointments to take my children to, I didn’t plan any out of the house fun activities to shuttle my children to. I even had my mother take my girls to their VBS tonight and bring them home. I had an extremely unproductive day. I could have written this blog post at any point today. But I didn’t, because I was lazy.
I say lazy like I didn’t do anything at all. Don’t worry, I did tons. Like any stay at home mom with small children, I changed diapers. I fixed meals and snacks and umpteen cups of juice. We did our homeschool routine for the day. I called in a refill for a prescription for one of my children. I read books to my children. I worked on the calendar for our homeschool coop I’m starting. I worked on our families august calendar and schedule.
See? I did tons. But I also scrolled Facebook, I watched a new show I started, I let the dishes pile up, I snuggled with my kids on the couch and watched too much paw patrol. I felt unproductive. But really, I was resting.
Why have we come to think that resting is synonymous with laziness? When did our value as a mother get wrapped up into how much we checked off our to-do list? I’ll admit, I’m a little peeved with myself. I’m a little frustrated that I didn’t get more done. I’m a little irritated that I didn’t do more of the 19599148 work related items on my to-do list. But I’m trying to learn to be okay with resting.
No one person can be on all the time, 24/7. It’s not possible. It’s what produces burn out and fatigue and stress related diseases. The thought that my value as a mother is directly correlated to my productivity levels during the day gets to me EVERYDAY. I wrestle with this anxiety that I’m not doing enough, literally every second of the day. It can be debilitating, but I’m trying to push the thoughts out. Im trying to relearn my views on productivity and work and rest. If you’re anything like me, you may struggle with this as well.
So if you felt “lazy” today or your mad at yourself for not doing more, just don’t. Just stop. That’s the advice. Stop. You are enough no matter how many things you’ve checked off the to-do list today.
The Monarch Mama 