It’s been a while since I’ve posted and I’m wanting to get back to blogging everyday.

So here’s my simple attempt to get back in the habit with giving you guys 5 things to remember and motivate you:

1. You don’t have to be perfect.

2. Not everything will go according to your plan.

3. People do love and appreciate all you do.

4. It’s okay to have a bad day, or even a few.

5. Take things one day at a time. Sometimes that’s all you can do.

See you guys back here tomorrow for another attempt at starting to blog again. 💜

Life has kicked me down today.

My oldest refused to eat anything I cooked then yelled at me that I can’t make him do things. My daughter got hurt outside while practicing gymnastics. All of our dogs got out and ran through the neighborhood and one decided to roll around in the mud and needed a bath. My father in law was lost in downtown and felt sick after my mother in law was admitted to the hospital and now has Covid. Bills are due, there are things to buy, schedules to be made and my 6 year old decided to throw a temper tantrum from the Devil himself because she got in trouble. Sometimes, life sucks.

But my kids all dressed up like characters from their favorite movie together.

My husband has a job that allows him to leave on a moments notice to deal with family.

My twins both napped in the car so I was able to write this blog in silence.

We’re going to Disney in 2 weeks.

I got published in another ebook compilation.

Life is hard, but the little things can make you feel so much better if you let them.

When you think about your day, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? As a mother, who do you normally take care of first? Do you take time for self care or are you the last person who is taken care of?

Picture this: you go through your days taking care of your children, your home, tending to your husbands needs and planning everything that has to done but you don’t get frustrated. You don’t get burnt out. You are less likely to “lose it.” And why is that? Because you chose to take care of yourself. You put yourself FIRST so that others could be taken care of the way they need to be.

I know, I know. You probably hear this everyday. That whole “self care” thing isn’t real, at least not for you, right? But it can be. If you take time to do these 5 things right now you’ll be on your way to putting yourself first so that you can probably care for others.

1) Wake up before your children, everyday. I am not a morning person and would stay up until 3 am every night if I could but I can tell a significant difference in how my day goes when I’m able to go to bed at a decent time (usually midnight or 1 am for me) and wake up before my children. When I wake up with my children or sometimes after my oldest ones, I feel like I’m thrown into the chaos. On the other hand when I wake up before my children and can do my daily pickup, prayer and Bible time, my days go so much smoother.

2) Get yourself a self care routine at night! Establish something you do for yourself every night in the way of self care, whether it be a set skin care routine, meditation, reading a book for fun or watching your favorite show. Find something that doesn’t have to do with being a mom so you can keep your identity as a woman outside of that.

3) Learn to say no. Women in general tend to be people who always say “yes.” Yes I’ll head up that committee, yes I can babysit your children for you, yes I can plan that meeting, yes I can help you with your project, etc. But do you know what it could do for you if you learn to say no? You will be inadvertently setting up boundaries for your life, letting other people know you can’t be the go to person for everything, and teaching your children that having boundaries is important too.

4) Don’t feel guilt for letting other people spend time with your children. I know how easy it is to feel guilty when your children go spend the night with a grandparent, hangout with a friend, or are left with your husband so you can get some you time, but this time is so important to your sanity as a mom. I promise, your children will be okay away from you for a few hours or even a night. Your well being is just as important as your children’s.

5) Teach your children Independent play. I know so many moms who play with their children all the time, and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but I would be lying if I told you I played with my children every time they asked. I enjoy playing with my children but I also foster a sense of independence in them because I might need time to do something as well. While I am a stay at home mom, I also work from home and there are plenty of times I have to work and can’t entertain my children 24/7. Teaching your children how to play alone or with their siblings will also teach your children an important life skill.

These 5 things may seem hard to do at first, but once you get a routine in order to do them, they will make your life as a mom so much easier. You will find yourself able to get more done, enjoy your children more, and be a happier mom in general.

Read that title again.

Now say it to yourself out loud.

Repeat it.

Do you believe that? Do you believe that being your most productive doesn’t mean you’re the best mother? I’ve believed that for a long time. Some days I still believe it.

It’s 11:15 PM at night. I haven’t left my house today. I had no appointments to take my children to, I didn’t plan any out of the house fun activities to shuttle my children to. I even had my mother take my girls to their VBS tonight and bring them home. I had an extremely unproductive day. I could have written this blog post at any point today. But I didn’t, because I was lazy.

I say lazy like I didn’t do anything at all. Don’t worry, I did tons. Like any stay at home mom with small children, I changed diapers. I fixed meals and snacks and umpteen cups of juice. We did our homeschool routine for the day. I called in a refill for a prescription for one of my children. I read books to my children. I worked on the calendar for our homeschool coop I’m starting. I worked on our families august calendar and schedule.

See? I did tons. But I also scrolled Facebook, I watched a new show I started, I let the dishes pile up, I snuggled with my kids on the couch and watched too much paw patrol. I felt unproductive. But really, I was resting.

Why have we come to think that resting is synonymous with laziness? When did our value as a mother get wrapped up into how much we checked off our to-do list? I’ll admit, I’m a little peeved with myself. I’m a little frustrated that I didn’t get more done. I’m a little irritated that I didn’t do more of the 19599148 work related items on my to-do list. But I’m trying to learn to be okay with resting.

No one person can be on all the time, 24/7. It’s not possible. It’s what produces burn out and fatigue and stress related diseases. The thought that my value as a mother is directly correlated to my productivity levels during the day gets to me EVERYDAY. I wrestle with this anxiety that I’m not doing enough, literally every second of the day. It can be debilitating, but I’m trying to push the thoughts out. Im trying to relearn my views on productivity and work and rest. If you’re anything like me, you may struggle with this as well.

So if you felt “lazy” today or your mad at yourself for not doing more, just don’t. Just stop. That’s the advice. Stop. You are enough no matter how many things you’ve checked off the to-do list today.

I’m visiting my grandmother today in the hospital & I’m reminded just how fleeting life is. I’m reminded how quickly life can pass us by. My grandmother suffers from dementia and she has a hard remembering anything within a 5 minute period.

Since I have such a busy life I’ve found it hard to visit her in the nursing home as much as I’d like and honestly, it always makes me depressed going because she doesn’t know who I am. Not at all.

She doesn’t remember my children or my husband, even though she’s met them many times.

She doesn’t remember all the nights I spent with her and my Grandfather on their farm, fishing, picking okra, cleaning the barn or playing cards.

She doesn’t remember my grandfather and his passing, partly because she wasn’t told to save her the heartache.

She doesn’t remember her grandchildren or her children. She doesn’t remember all the times she sent me and my children cards for every birthday.

She doesn’t remember anything.

And that is the most depressing thing.
Physically she’s okay, beside the bout of pneumonia she’s dealing with.

But really is she doing okay?
Her once self isn’t here.
She’s still the kind, sweet & caring Sue I grew up with but she’s also vacant.

I can’t help but wonder if that’s even better at all.
My grandfather suffered from dementia as well and I went and sat with him everyday leading up to his passing for a few weeks. He would ask where my granny was and when he could see her again. He didn’t know she wasn’t there and that she was sick. He would get angry because he was so dependent on others. And in his last few days he just laid there, unaware that his final days were coming.

In the last 6 months I’ve lost a grandfather and a great grandmother. It seems that loss is continuing to happen for me and my family. While I take hope in knowing that my Savior has a plan and purpose, it doesn’t take the sting of loss away.

I feel like I talk a lot about mental heath. I like to use my platforms to break stereotypes and disarm judgements about people who have mental health. I like to write about my anxiety a lot, because I think recognizing that it is there is important- sometimes the most important thing about facing it.

Mental health is like the elephant in the room. You know that phrase, right? How there is something something that people just don’t like to talk about? Mental health is that so many of the time. It is like the big elephant in the room. No one wants to talk about it because for so long it was such a taboo topic.

Did you know that 1 in 5 people in the United States have a mental health disorder?

Did you know that suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in people ages 10-34 in the United States?

Did you know that an estimated 48 million people in the world have anxiety disorder?

How is this not being talked about more? How have we not realized how important a cure or treatment is for this?

Mental illnesses are debilitating. They take amazing people and turn them into unrecognizable people by even themselves and those they love. They cause people to self-medicate to make the pain stop. Mental health is just as important as physical well-being.

Maybe you are reading this and you don’t have a mental disorder so you’re wondering what this has to do with you. I guarantee that someone you love has a mental disorder. Someone you know has contemplated suicide, even if you don’t realize. Someone you know suffers from manic episodes. Someone you know thinks every day that they aren’t good enough to be in your life.

So, what can you do? How can we all help each other?

• Let them know you are there for them. This may seem so simplistic but most of the time, people who suffer from a mental illness feel alone or like no one even cares what they are going through.
• Be accountable. So many mental illnesses stem from a change in routine or life that throws someone off balance. Be accountable. Do what you say you are going to go and stick to it.
• If this person has children, offer to help with them. Offer up babysitting time or to come over and help do laundry and dishes.
• Show kindness all the time. You may not know what they are going through, but you can be kind. Sometimes that all someone needs.

Mental illness does exist in our world. They are not going away. They are maybe even going to get worse. If you suffer from a mental disorder I want you to know this:

• You are important.
• You are valuable.
• Your life MATTERS.
• You will be okay.
• It is okay if all you did today was breathe.
• You are not defined by your mental illness.

It’s been a few days longer than I would have liked to have between my blog posts. I’ve been completely immersed in the addition of another business to my life, taking over my grandparents publishing company, and adding on a job as a contributor writer for a Birmingham parenting website. Add in a change in my childrens diet, therapy sessions for my children, our daily homeschool responsibilities, and my boutique business, and I’ve just felt a little hidden in the week as I juggle all the things.

So many times we can let all of the “things” and the “to-dos” take over the most important “to-do” of our lives as parents though. And that is the raising of the tiny people we are responsible for. I have always prided myself on my ability to essentially “do it all”, but a lot of the times that comes at a price of feeling guilty for not spending enough intentional time with my children. As a stay at home, work from home mom I’m essentially with all six of my children most every day, all day. So I often view that as enough time spent with them. When in reality, a lot of that time is spent in doing school work, shuffling to doctors appointments and sports practices, that all the time I spend with them still doesn’t feel like enough.

Just like with any relationship, if you aren’t cultivating intentional time with your children, the time may seem lost on them and you. Your children crave attention from you, just like you crave attention from people you love as well. Carving time out for intentional time with your child is so important.

This weekend, think about how you can be more intentional with your time. Don’t just go through the motions, really think about how important the time is you have with your children.

When I was younger I use to roll my eyes at my parents advice and discipline because I knew it all. Does this sound familiar to you? I’m sure it does because at one time or another we all “knew it all” and couldn’t really be taught the correct way to do something. Now that I’m a parent, I find myself thinking all the time that my kids will someday understand why I’m doing this or will someday see my side of things when they are a parent as well.

Life truly does go full circle.

I have been given so many different pieces of advice from my parents that I originally thought were not true, silly, or just not needed at the time. But now looking back, I realize that most, if not all of their advice was true and needed to be taken seriously.

Like when I was heartbroken when my boyfriend at the age of 16 ended things and my mom told me I would meet someone much better and more suited to me, I thought she was incorrect. Obviously, I didn’t marry my high school sweetheart, and my moms advice was spot on when she said I would meet someone much more suited to me.

Or when my dad taught me about the importance of Star Trek and I just rolled my eyes at his “nerdiness”, but I ended up loving the show and marrying someone who loves it just as much as my dad does.

These are just two examples of some of the things my parents taught me that I ended up actually following and believing as I grew up.

When originally given, we can sometimes think that that advice may not be needed, but most of the time when we look back on it, it’s actually exactly what we needed to hear in the moment.

The next time you’re given some advice, take it to heart! Think about how you could apply it to your life and then look back on it after and see how helpful it truly. was

You probably read the title of this blog and thought, “oh, great! someone else telling me what I’m doing as a parent.”

I get it! We are bombarded in our society today with things we are doing “wrong” or how we are “failing” as a parent.

•Don’t let your kids have too much screen time •Don’t let your kids have too much sugar •Don’t let them argue with you or talk back •You need to take your kids outside more! •Teach them to be kind to everyone, don’t be raising mean humans!

Being a parent in our age of social media is tough when everything is see as portrayed as perfection. You can never do anything right – or so it seems.

So this blog isn’t that. Instead, it’s a list of those 5 things above that we try so hard to do for our children switched to be all about us. So many times the things we teach our kids are not mirrored in our actions as parents. We are talking the talk, but not always walking the walk. I’m guilt of it everyday! But in order to teach our children by actions and improve ourselves as well, we need to make a change. Here are 5 things you can start doing TODAY as a parent:

1. Put down the phone!! I’m most guilt of this on the list since I work predominantly from my phone and computer. I don’t put it down to enjoy the moments I’m in. Do we want our children to remember us through a phone screen? Make the effort today to put it down and get present with your children.

2. Reach for a water instead of soda. If we want our children to have healthy habits, we need to model healthy habits. If you are purchasing a soda every time you go to the gas station but you’re telling them no to the candy because it’s unhealthy for them, is that truly helping since you aren’t modeling that behavior?

3. Start having meaningful conversations with your kids! A lot of people will tell us not to have our kids talk back and while I agree with not letting our kids be disrespectful, we need to foster true and meaningful conversations with our children! It starts with us- so start having meaningful conversations with the adults around you to serve as examples for our children.

4. Get outside! In the Alabama summer heat, it is a struggle for me to take all 6 of my children outside but I try to make a point to get outside a least once a day. Whether it be a walk around the neighborhood, playing in our little pool outside, taking a trip to the park or more elaborate plans like zoo trips or splash pads. You’ll be surprised how much of an improvement in your mental health and your children’s when you get outside instead of staying inside all day.

5. Being kind to others is contagious. I have always taught my children that kindness to all is the number one most important thing I want them to learn from me. While teaching kindness for others is of course important, it needs to start in our homes first! Modeling kindness to our children needs to start with kindness to them, kindness to our spouses, kindness to our pets and our other family around us. Kindness in our little humans is the best way to foster them growing into big humans who will be kind to everyone in their lives as well.

Start with these 5 things today! They may take some time to make habits in your life but I promise that the rewards will be well worth the shift and work. 💜

3. Ra

Have you ever sat and thought about what motivates people? Have you ever wondered what type of reason people have to be motivated to do certain things or not do other things? The majority of the time the reason why we do certain things is referred to as our “why.”

Over six years ago, I started working for a MLM company selling jewelry. I had never done anything like it before and I had never really entertained the idea. But as a single mom, I wanted something to do for myself and something to bring in a little extra spending money. Going through different introductory videos and listened to leaders in the company, a word kept popping up over and over again. That word was the word “why.” I was lead through exercises that might help determine my why; I was told to make vision boards depicting my why and how I would get there; I was told to tell other people about my why as a way to motivate themselves. A lot of what I learned with this company has stuck with me throughout the years and this was one of them.

I initially would put things down like “my daughter”, “finding a new place of my own”, “saving for a new car”, and things like that as my why as a single mom living at home with her parents. Over the years, my why has changed so many times. Today if I was to write my why I would write things like my 6 children, bringing my husband home to work, and motivating other women and moms.

Simply put, your “why” is the reason you do what you do. It’s the reason you get out of bed in the morning; it’s the reason you push forward despite your want sometimes not to. A person’s why can be good or it can be bad; it can be a humble way or a huge and ginormous why. What’s important is that your why is not the same as someone else’s and if never will be.

So, what is your why? Why do you do the things you do? Why do you get up every day and go to work? Why do you have the passions you have? Why do you have the drive for certain things?

Is your why your family, your children, your pets, making money to achiever your goals?

Whatever your “why” is, remember it, cherish it, and use it to push you to be the best you can be. 💜